Not without My Butter

My pineapple upside down cake was a disaster, to say the least.  I didn't think Mary Ford would betray me like this, over and over again. My cake dough was disturbingly orange as opposed to the picture in the book, which had a healthy cream color. Usually none of my doughs look like that because I add the usual milk and butter. But, Mary Ford said this one didn't need those two and I thought, oh, how nice, she’s giving a family friendly, healthy recipe, on we charge.

I went ahead and warily poured the orange goo over the sliced pineapples, I mean, there wasn’t much else I could do at that point. I stuck the thing into the pre-heated oven. The oven is a mess in itself cos the temperature regulator is like on a permanent pms or something and so does whatever it feels like, and whenever. So the cake never rose for the longest time. And then I had to take it out cos I could see that the cake bum was burning. I took it out and the truth was it looked pretty fine and dandy then and I grew hopeful. But as soon as I sliced out a piece and put it in my mouth I could distinctly feel the egg yolk. What distinctly? It was all over my mouth. Byugh.

My parents were out during my hateful adventure. They came home all bright eyed and eager, expecting exotica. It was heart-breaking but I had to tell them the truth. No, Mohan! No, Geetha! Keep your hands off it; they are all off to the doghouse, literally. But you know how disbelieveing we all are at times, so they had to try and they went on eating it cos we are all sort of sick in the head. We gain a certain amount of perverse pleasure in torturing ourselves. Dad was like, what will you give us if we finish the entire thing? I told him another cake and that put an end to it.

Remo, my dog, enjoyed it though, almost as good as his favorite plastic milk covers, I bet.