Well look whos laughing now

Me. Jumping on the bed, me! Puffing cigar smoke out like a suave operator, me! Receiving congratulatory salute from the president of India, me!

After surviving several calculated attacks on my cooking from the dark forces of the universe, headed by one number female called Mary Ford, I have struck back. Hoo! haa!

I finally consulted the scroll of childhood wisdom and wistfulness and it set before me my first step: shahi ka tukda. I urge all you sighing, broken hearted, i-fold-napkins-better-than-i-cook people, to try my winner-recipe and have your torn hearts mended as if it has just had a jiffy fix under the sewing machine (with anesthetics, of course). It is simple, it is humble, but most of all, it is delicious, la la la.   

Now, for serious business, i shall much oblige and revert to my constipated mode:

Ingredients:

bread slices: 5

full cream milk: 3/4th of a cup (125 ml)

ghee: 8 tbsp

sugar: 3 tsp

condensed milk: 1/2 tin (200ml)

almonds/ pistachio : 15 to 18 pcs

cardamom: 10 pcs

If you use almonds: Soak the almonds in water for 30-60 mins. Then peal them and dry them with a towel. Then chop and grind to tiny chunks, not a paste. Pistachios would be easier, you just need to crack the shell and grind them direct in the food grinder.

Grind/powder the cardamom seeds and sugar together.

Cut each slice of bread into pieces of 4. Heat 1 1/2 tbsps of ghee. 

Now, do this bit carefully, because you might just screw it up by burning all the bread pcs. I was glad to have the extra pcs of bread and ghee lying around.

Once the ghee is hot, put it on low flame. Put 4 bread pcs into it and toss it around until its light golden brown all around. This will take 30 to 60 seconds max. Repeat the steps, until all the 20 bread pcs are done. Set these aside in rows, on a flat plate.

Boil the milk, then keep stirring it on medium flame for another 7 minutes. Add the sugar-cardamom mix. Stir. Shut the flame. Add 1/4 tin of the condensed milk. Stir, stir.

Drizzle 1/3 to 1/2 of this liquid on top of the fried bread pcs, so that they get soaked without having to swim in the liquid. 

To the remaining milky liquid, add another 1/4 tin of condensed milk and stir.

Now, add another half tbsp of ghee into the pan you used for frying the bread. Once hot, put it on low flame. Put the grinded almonds/pistachios in. Toss them around until they get a slight dark brown sheen. Sprinkle this over the bread pcs. 

Once cool, keep the milky liquid and the bread pcs in the fridge for 6 hours. Do NOT have it hot. Let them get cold.

Pour the rest of the milky liquid on to the bread pcs and serve.