After digging through the earth, this is what I found on the other side

So ever since I had that fight with acha amma, ever since they backed off and I've been calling them up on my own initiative, things have been pretty good between us! I call them almost regularly, like once in 2 days, and I look forward to it cos now our conversations are honest, instead of me having to sell them an its-all-good story. In fact, I save the call as a reward, after I complete a chunk of work I've set up as a sub-goal.  And I am glad for all this. I'm glad I'm one of those people who likes being in touch with parents.

I am also slightly, ever so slightly, getting used to the PhD drill. On days I manage 7 to 8 hours sleep, I feel smug. I think, look out day, an efficient, alert brain is coming your way. Eating fruits and veggies, drinking 2 liters of water, taking a bath, hanging out with people are like extra-curricular activities. I have an unholy admiration for myself when I manage several of these in a day.

Another thing, I don't know how I feel about human beings anymore. Especially new ones. What are they? How do they matter? Why do we mingle? etc. I had very definite answers for these questions once upon a time, but I am beginning to forget them. I can't be bothered, but I also want to be bothered. But primarily, I can't be bothered.

Nonetheless, I cooked a big bang (not really) mallu lunch on Friday to feed the one girl in Syracuse I can be reasonably unadulterated with. The odd thing is I've never quite cooked a Kerala meal before. Ever since I've been here, I've had this huge urge to flaunt my Malluness and Indianness. But I cant bring myself to. But I will! soon, soon! Also, I want people to recognize my keralahood. Otherwise, I feel, some of my more significant quirks would get blurred or overlooked.