Things in between

Every morning I sit down to create my work of art. An email. Sometimes two in a day. I love writing these and I look forward to reading the ones that come my way. Mostly I say the truth, but sometimes I lie, sometimes I conceal. Like the exes, I told him that I felt like I was pretty much on my own in both relationships, which was true. But I didn't tell him how I was clingy in the first one and dying for space in the second one. I didn't tell him about the crazy temper tantrums I used to throw, the ones I am not sure I still have much control over. One day, after badminton, we were discussing potential personality disorders. He said excessive anxiety, which I rejected telling him its not good enough, while I admitted to anger issues. He seemed to think he understood, and I was so relieved, but really it is only because he has no clue, no idea how it all plays out and what a terrible disgusting mess I am when I lose it. I don't know if I will ever tell him, I don't know if he will ever find out.