The day before last, the girl I am sharing the room with and I are talking about politics in the department, or rather what to do about it. I give her my take on it, which is that I would rather not get involved at all if I can help it, yeah you hear things now and then, but taking the pains to stay in the loop and making your every move with the intention of not ruffling any feathers is just, ugh, a no for me. First of all, at this stage in my life I am not important enough to matter to tenured professors, two, like Mike said to me a few days later, acting on misinformation, which is very often what office gossip amounts to, is not going to be rewarding. And at a very fundamental level, I would rather not indulge things that I shouldn't indulge in principle, until they have sufficiently massive consequences for me. Anyhoo, this girl, has the opposite take, she is all for going to excruciating lengths to get what she wants. Not in any unethical way, but just that every single thing she does is to the best possible extent, calculated.
During, one other conference, she kept referring to networks as relationships, and I was very confused at first, but later I realized later that she treats all relationships as networks that can bestow social and economic benefits. Again, this girl is not mean or evil or anything. In fact she tries to be as considerate as possible. Like, during this other conference, I leave her a note before going to bed saying that I wake up early, so please don't be alarmed if the alarm goes off early. I wake up the next day, and she springs from her bed and tells me that I can take take her conditioner and shampoo, because the hostel doesn't have any. I think this is very sweet, but, oh wow, does she overthink, even by my standards, and as a result is always highly strung and stressed out.
I make the mistake of saying, hey are you ok, you look worried at some point during the conversation at the present conference, because she does, and she gets very defensive, and insists shes not worried and why do people always think that and may be she should correct the expression on her face, so that people don't think that shes worried and how shes got so much going on in her life with a kid and what not that she can't be bothered worrying about silly office things and that shes sorry if shes stressed me out by looking worried. At this point, I obviously regret that I even spoke to her. I do my no worries, and that she doesn't have to change anything and of course, she insists she must. At this point I shrink as much as I can to a non-entity, when I realize that the air is thick with resentment. I apologize and she apologizes and I guess that is that.
The next day, I have my last interview at 11:20. Since we also have to check out by 12, I am trying to get everything packed and ready to deposit it by the front desk. At 10:20, I casually check my notes for the interview location and I see that the interview is scheduled for 10:30 and not 11:30. So I sprint, in my not-suitable-for-a-professional-setting sandals. Thankfully, I had the right dress on already. I get there dot on time, out of breath, legs numb. I see one of the faculty from the school hanging about checking her phone. So I compose myself, and waltz towards her with the waiting for me? and intros. Shes like oh, give her five minutes she needs to check something and so I take the chance to drink some water and cool off. As I sit down I notice that a vein is bulging from my left leg. I see if I can rub it back in or something, but I realize it just needs to rest.
The interview turns out to be the most promising of the lot, with the lady telling me that they are very interested and that I should let them know if there are any developments with other schools prior to their flyout decisions. For the rest of the day, I am immensely pleased with myself, even though the alter-paru is scolding me for nearly missing that one.
I walk about Vancouver some more, but my legs are not really up for it. Soon I am at the airport. I hear the sweet Asian-looking official I passed by, snap sharply at a Chinese family for asking her something in Chinese, Sir! not all Asians are Chinese. I am surprised cos I always imagined that this is a scenario that played out between Asians and non-Asians, but I see how this can be way more insulting. I have my first layover in Seattle, and I plomp myself with determination on one of those massage chairs. 5 bucks for 26 mins. Winner. I get to NY and roam about for breakfast, I realize I want nothing greasy and that is whats primarily on the offer. I find a place which has a very expensive bottle of juice, and I am like fuck it, I can either get the very over-priced exactly what I want item, or a similarly priced, but not overpriced item I don't want. I go for the former. The cashier lady is very brisk with me, states the price again and gives me the you outa your mind look and I return her briskness, which is not my normal style, but oh fuck it woman, I am tired and have done this debate in my head already, so just give me the goddamn overpriced juice. I don't say that, just unhuh and tap my fingers on the counter.
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