33

Instead of a cake, this birthday, Mike and I bought a bunch of pastries, accompanied by cheeses, butter, prosciutto, baguette and sake. For his birthday, I made a key lime pie topped with meringues (which he prefers to cakes).

It seems like a good time to reflect on the past year. I put off blogging because it was tough at times, and I didn't want to type up a lot of vague sadness. I was unhappy on the work and home front. For now, I/we have survived it. I will mention the low- because otherwise, it will be half a story and I don't want this blog to be like that. The second half of the year saw some major fights around weed and our divergent attitudes towards its role in our lives- simmering since Syracuse days. I saw it as exacerbating the vicious cycle of boredom, anxiety, stress, sleeplessness, a grating relationship, a general mess of a life. We were at each other's throats. Unable to see a way beyond shouting matches and accusations, I called on the moms. We eventually reached a compromise, and since then we have been pretty ok, dare I say happy. I also had to change my attitude towards my job. I was acting like my life depended on it, and while it is important for my sanity and self-esteem to have a job, being so hard on myself wasn't helping, and it made Mike feel left out. Besides, I should really save the breakdown for when I actually lose the job...which I shouldn't...because I am awesome at my job...unless the school or the economy finds itself in dire straits...which isn't impossible..

Ok. I will expand on the highlight of 2018 - our month-long Eurotrip. We both had wanted to travel abroad for pleasure for a long while, but as an Indian, getting the visa part sorted out is a pain. I was so exhausted by the end of the semester that I mentally checked out of the application process, and Mike had to take charge. Even till the very last days, we weren't sure if I was going to accompany him, even though we had to book all the flights and hotels ahead of time for the visa application. We were sitting at the Oyster Bar, discussing who else he could take with him and bravely considering the art lessons I could sign up for, when we got the all-clear email. 

To get a visa interview date early enough, we had to choose a less popular country as our main destination. That country was Finland. In the end, it was also our favorite (tied with France for me). It was distinct and non-touristy. The people were straight-faced and quiet, confused when strangers smiled at them. This bothered Mike initially, but it was right up my alley, because it meant chit-chat didn't win you special attention. For once, I wasn't the only foreigner, Mike was too.

We spent most of our Finland time in Helsinki. The days were longer since it was summer. I struggled to sleep, but it got better once I stopped thinking of work. We had gelato and caviar, I had princess cake and freshly fried whitebait. We walked through the city - the landscape was pastels and seagulls. We went to one of the islands nearby- I remember tall grass and wild hares. We also went to this city called Tampere where they have a Moomin museum. There is a painting room (for kids, really) and they let you post your drawings on the wall there, which I did. I did some more illustrations over the trip or inspired by it, traveling and painting pair well.

Next stop was Vienna, which was teeming with tourists. Same for Amsterdam and Switzerland. As hypocritical as it maybe for me to say this, places are more interesting when they have their own thing going, beyond catering to tourists. There is no sense of discovery otherwise, and that is the point of travel. Parts of Vienna felt like a gigantic outdoor mall, but it had splendid buildings and a World Fair/Vegas feel about it. 

The Tulip market in Amsterdam was teeming with Chinese knick-knacks, including plastic tulips. In the mornings Amsterdam was trashed (by European standards of course). It was obvious that it had become a pot destination. The train to Amsterdam had some gentle Dutch-folk and a bunch of American college kids, who felt compelled to shout "Lets smoke a fucking joint!" as soon as the train pulled up at the station. Then again, hanging out at a "coffee shop" was one of the most unique experiences I had. It is interesting to be in a room full of high strangers from all over the world watching (and in my case, acknowledging) soccer on television. I guess this is why guys enjoy watching a game at the pub. Mostly, we enjoyed getting out of the city and heading to some of the windmill towns and Rotterdam.

Interlaken was beautiful with its crystal clear blue lakes (on which we went kayaking), thundering waterfalls (we checked out one called Trümmelbach) and mountainsides. I had chocolate from a store called  Läderach, which is the most delicious chocolate I have eaten in a long time, and visited one again in Bern. But in spite of this, I was also put off by Interlaken. There were a lot of Asian tourists-Arabs, Indians, Chinese, and the locals while serving this crowd, was not exactly cordial. Our kayak instructor was originally from Britain, had been in Interlaken forever, and rarely left it, even for Bern. All he wanted were the lakes and the mountains- the city was too much. Our hotel staff seemed quite out of the loop, so did the shopkeepers. These weren't sophisticates looking down their noses, these were simple folk, who led idyllic but sheltered lives, to whom the rest of the world was a rude jolt. In a way, Vienna opened its doors to tourists and was a having a jolly time of it, Amsterdam opened themselves up and was in the midst of figuring out how to manage their openness, and Interlaken was resentful of having to put up with tourists to support themselves.

                                          

After Vienna, we went to Berlin. Their general style stuck out. It was on the grittier, street, but sharp side of things. We went into an antique furniture/book shop one day and ended up chatting with the owner. She had lived in New York at some point, had been through the with-and-without-the-wall stages of Berlin, and could still neither bring herself to love it or leave it. On TV, we saw this odd children's show with what appeared to be an ugly looking talking brick. Further research told us that this is "Bernd das Brot", a boring, self-involved, depressed, burned loaf of bread and hugely popular with Germans. The fact that many Germans relate to this is curious - I sympathize with the self-loathing and their rebellious solidarity with gloom. 

Our next stop was Cognac, where one of Mike's friends was getting married. Afterwards we went to Bordeaux, incidentally reaching it on the day France won the world cup. Both these places were lovely through and through. While on the trains between cities, we saw sunflower fields, with all their heads either uniformly facing away from the sun or facing towards it. The buildings held themselves back in muted tones of beige, giving the trees, the sky and all else nature an equal place- making everything appear all the more splendid. 

We didn't experience any of the famous French snobbery. May be Paris is the place for it - we did see a graffiti scrawl in Bordeaux saying Go back Parisians! All the same, I have no idea how we could have gotten around if Mike didn't know some rudimentary French.

Our last stop was Copenhagen. By then, I was both sad and exhausted. I didn't want to go back to reality and think of teaching evaluations. But I also looked forward to getting home and resting my feet. We checked out the Lego store, the Danish parliament where Borgen was shot, the Danish Museum of Art & Design and had many meals by the pretty waterfront. We went to Tivoli Gardens- twice. It isn't that there are crazy rides, it is just merry, laid-back and charming- the much touted Hygge seemed legit even though it is in the context of a relatively small, culturally similar country. I hope some day I can visit the other Scandinavian countries and the rest of Denmark. 
In the end, I am glad that for both Mike and I, seeing the world is the ultimate and undisputed dream.