Oh Oh

Bombay was great. but that update is gonna happen later. May be never. Cos there is something else. definitely terrifying something else. I shall be checking out(chatting with) guy no.1 today, courtesy, B matrimony. My temper is at its all time horrors, i wanna snap everything in my way like twigs. My feelings are a combination of anger, fear, resentment, distrust and nausea. I really really hope that this guy has something that i genuinely dislike, then i can tell everybody how i gave this whole online men-finding at least a try, when i m 30.

Meanwhile my brain is going haywire, i'm spilling and misplacing and forgetting everything. I'm constantly on the lookout for what my family might do to corner me and coerce me into commitment. Which believe me, they have been trying, despite their regular supply of hollow words of reassurance.

I have every intention of falling in love, feeling right about things and getting married. Otherwise i do not want to get married. and I can completely live with that. However, these days i wake up every morning, imagining me completely bored in a loveless marriage, possibly looking after a baby and struggling to decide on a divorce.

Am sure there is going to be a lot of hair fall in the coming months. deep breath, deep breath.

Also note: If any of u ever decide to find a partner this way, do not involve your parents in it, whom i hate hate hate right now btw, which is very sad. I realize that all this would have been way better and i would have been under much less pressure if i had done it all by myself. Unless your elimination criteria is caste, kundali, blood group as well.