Normal's back

In retrospect, I have to say, that was quick. I feel so okay again. I'm not sure if it is something I did or if it was just a matter of time before I stopped feeling antsy. Anyhow, one of the things I did to get out of the rut was check out some documentaries on netflix. Never really got into watching documentaries before, so that was interesting in itself; with the right lens, real life plays out pretty well, also it has this more authentic feel, so you can tell people stuff like well, in this documentary that I watched...in a world where one is looking out for quick and unique borrowed opinions, documentaries may just be the thing.

Anyhow, one of documentaries I watched was Happy. No surprises there. They talked about a bunch of factors like variety, exercise, relationships, being in the zone (which is about doing stuff, where you lose yourself and don't have your ego dictate what you feel). But what set me thinking (along with all the altruism and prosocial behavior articles I've had to read for the social entrepreneurship seminar) was the giving-back-to-community factor. So far, my personal standard for being community-minded has meant being cooperative, like stand in a queue.

I've never really cared much for social work or charity, so its never figured as something that could amp up my happiness. I have, as my sis puts it, a distaste for overt do-gooders. The people I've seen engaging in it have often been bad examples, by imposing religious beliefs or being high-handed. Also, the preaching gets to me. Besides, my happiness has in no way been directly linked to it. I care about me and I care about the people I have relationships with (I've certainly never cared for Kayamkulam society).

I've had my own shit to deal with, no matter how irrelevant it seems next to cancer ridden babies. And that's what it comes down to. At least for me. There are things which I consider real problems, real threats to my happiness. I need freedom of expression, health, loved ones, enough money and a job I don't dread. And I'm sure everyone has their own threshold as to what counts as a real problem, but you need to set a standard on that. These are mine, and for now I'm pretty clear on all of these. So what happens then? I've been on the fixing-problems mode for too long and now that I don't have any, its tempting to nit-pick and create some, which is obviously ridiculous. So I have two options, either I can sit back and relax, maybe streamline the project that is my life (lose weight? publish a paper?), or I can lend my problem fixing skills to people who actually need it and have something constructive come out of it. For now, I am feeling very relaxed just knowing I have this option.