The flight home was largely uneventful, except for the arab guy sitting next to me asking, how do you say you are very beautiful in hindi? Winka, winka. But uneventfulness is great, I had a preacher sitting next to me on the second leg of the journey and he was nose deep in some book chapter talking about how idol worship is a horrible thing which stands in the way of monotheism. He wouldn't have been pleased about the Jesus statue I got on M's request.
At Cochin airport, I got as much booze as possible (2 liters/bottles fyi) from the duty free shop. Because of the alcohol ban, this is standard practice for most arrivals (I am tempted to invent a new word arrivee for: those who arrive) and particularly important for us given we are going to have an awfully large engagement function.
Its nice to be with acha-amma. Its nice to see faces which look delighted at the sight of me. I would like to love and protect them forever. The ride from Nedumbassery to the city was long because of Metro-construction related traffic. But it was fine. I was in no hurry to be anywhere, unlike the many dudes on their bikes who felt compelled to wriggle through every possible gap at the obvious risk of creating an even tighter gridlock.
I slept a good bit on the plane, so I was up for the Kerala-appropriate shopping & sari browsing that my two-murtis recommended. I hated the ugly, gawdy, unimaginative red and gold saris, and felt mighty pleased with the kurtas I bought from Fabindia. We lunched on shawarma, which has got a bad rap of late round these parts. I assume that this has nothing to do with any actual health issue above and beyond that involved in buying any food from an average restaurant in Kerala, but more to do with people's apprehension towards anything they wouldn't normally cook in their own homes and media hyping up insecurity-stirring stories as usual.
I got home and the first thing I truly noticed was two blue walls which were not supposed to be painted blue. Let us call it garish blue. Over the last couple of years, many malayalis have gotten rather fond of fluorescent colors. I haven't, and I propose my parents haven't either, though one of them (acha) is color-blind, which helps move matters in the undesirable direction.
But beyond that and the innumerable chairs (2 sofas, 4 matching single seaters, 4 other chairs and another 6 in the dining room, all in an eyeful) and the ever-increasing clutter, they have really cleaned up the place, esp. the bathrooms, which makes life a lot more pleasant. We still to need to fix up Mike' bedroom-to-be and I am worried we won't manage it in time. I am saving the panic-indulgence for a date closer to the deadline however.
The dogs all recognize me, and Chinnan and Remo seem to melt to the ground in bliss when I scratch them. Inji on the other hand, insists on asserting his superiority by grring even as he wags his tail and even as he insists on me scratching his back. No thank you inji.
I went and hung out with my aunt and cousin the next day. I like them, except for the fact that my cousin (and his elder brother) has this habit of exaggerating to a degree which demands your pointing it out, but its such an awkward thing, that I just say hmm and move onto another topic as soon as I can.
There is also this need for forced humility around these folks. You have to talk yourself down a bit, no matter what. I am not sure what its supposed to achieve or how it came about, but it can be a painful exercise. Self-deprecation isn't funny when you suspect smooth relations hinge on it. The visit was made slightly more uncomfortable by the fact that one fellow, whom I never cared for, turned up. I shook his hand, but I did not want to.
Later in the evening, the fam & co. went to our help's house. Her daughter, 19 years of age, was getting married the next day. She has been a burden to her family, what with no college degree/job prospects and a volatile temper, so marriage it was.
The truth is it couldn't possibly be fun to grow up as a girl, in a locality full of hormonal, entitled boys, and in her social rung, with anything resembling an opinion. It would take an incredible amount of patience and foresight to not lose it. I wish her the best escape and I hope the guy she has married treats her with respect and kindness.
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