Like & Marriage

My friend was telling me about her cousin who is in her late 20s, checking out boys in the arranged marriage market. She was worried about her cousin's exacting standards. This guy turned up for their first meeting in casual clothes and the cousin didn't like the idea of him not making an effort. He wore jeans and a t-shirt apparently. Whats so bad about that? I don't get it either. But who wants a guy who comes in declaring I'm not into making an effort? Declaring, oh don't you worry, I will  never go that extra mile for you? Still, personally, jeans makes the cut, t-shirt, not so much.

In my 20s I didn't care. When people asked what I want in a partner, I didn't get very far with forming a concrete answer. All I ever wanted was general cuteness, solid brains and an absence of misogyny, which to be fair isn't a combination that is exactly abundant in India. I figured everything else would follow.

What is remarkable is that ending up with exactly what I was on the look out for was never a problem. There are so many people out there, so many possibilities, not to mention my general brilliance and beauty. But the truth, for myself and for so many self-indulgent, vain young and 'young at heart' humans, is that you have no clue what you need. And you have no clue what you have to offer as a human and what you should offer your significant other human.

I would like to imagine that I know better now. If nothing else, I can guarantee anyone out there, that no.1, you better like yourself. No. 2, you better be willing to put in the effort to make the other person happy, not just when you get a step-by-step on how to make an effort, but by honing your extra sensory perception on the right type of effort to make. No. 3, for the sake of your own sanity you better end up with someone who is equally willing. And no. 4, when you do find someone like that, no matter how much they fuck up, you better thank them for it until they truly know they are appreciated.

On that note, thank you Miku, I feel indulged this weekend.