Summer Begins

"Is the truth universally acknowledged that the moment one area of  your life starts going okay, another part of it falls spectacularly to pieces?"

Finally, it is summer vacation. I have been waiting for this for a long time. Mike and I have been happy happy. As happy as we have ever been, and while the free time certainly helps, the chemistry being in sync helps even more. But just as I cheer, I find myself disappointed on the job front.

I thought I had finished the school year strong- combated the stresses of balancing student learning, engagement, appeasement and discipline, satisfied university service expectations and box-ticked the necessary research requirements. Done all this by being focused and staying on top of my tasks, rather than bumbling through it with the emotional support of weed. 

But now I am questioning this self-assessment. Why? I am confronted by very negative and self-assured student comments about my teaching; and since perception rather than veracity is what matters, I worry. I worry that I am a bad teacher, based on the sentiment rather than the accuracy of the comments. I am angered because there is this notion that the onus is upon me to politely address the entitled and prejudiced or that I can ignore and bear the consequences. Finally, I feel a fool for having personal standards such as limiting grade inflation, which though in the interest of students and universities in the long-run, runs counter to promotion and tenure incentives.

That said (and I do feel much better for saying it), I got a long letter of thanks from a student this semester and several other appreciative notes. And for now, that will have to make-do. 

There are a few more work-related things to take care of in the coming days, after that Mike and I set off for our 3-week summer road trip along the Southeast coast. And then I will more fully exorcise thoughts about work...until next semester.