Right before heading back home, there was this hurry burry trip during my office lunchbreak to buy the perfectly conservative but smart, long/half sleeved kurta. Now, unless u r one of those delightfully framed females, this is not an easy task. I, for one, very often, end up looking like a shabby school teacher and I tell myself i couldnt care less cos kayamkulam deserves no better. And this time, i couldnt say that either, cos we were gonna lunch with people i like and havent seen in a long while and i just sorta very shallowly wanted to be liked for my physical appearance as well.
Thankfully, Fab India was with me on this one n so it popped in front of me the perfect piece, still priced outrageously at 630 monies. My train reached the home station dot on time, which was a first in many many months and i was very glad to have been a part of that unique experience. Anyways, i get home, n start gulping down the carrot halwa ammas made n then immediately try to confirm that the trips happening. But then ammas like, i dunno, r we going? And then am thinking, ofcourse not, what was i thinking? i suck, life sucks , this carrot halwa sucks etc.
But then god works in mysterious ways, which is the pious person's way of saying god really has no clue what hes doing. So come saturday evening, the phone rings urgently, its picked up lackadaisically and requests are made hither for breakfast n lunch visits, no questions asked. Ipppeee!!
So off we go sunday morning, to thank christ for giving us people we get along with. On our way we buy cashew nuts n chocolates n soan papdi n we tell each other that this truly is a great gift combination! We reach the place and uncle n aunty come to greet us, n i inquire about my generation of people, n they tell me they r still in bed. suddenly, i have this huge urge to go straight into their bedroom n curl up beside them n be a kid all over again. but i dont, obviously. i wander around their living room instead which i always found pleasant n homely n shabbily grand. Then B wakes up n shes a year younger to me n already a doctor! and then d younger one comes out half n hour later n am glad to hear that she finds her college in cochin a hell hole. We watch the news on sai baba "leaving his body behind". n slowly, us kids, flock towards the dining room where the mums sit discussing a boy for paro. Talk about Mary's lil lamb trotting joyfully to the slaughterhouse. Thankfully B is also sorta resisting the marriage idea n so it wasnt too uncomfortable. Then aunty asks me, so you dont wanna settle in kerala? and i can feel the judgement. the judgement for having judged my own people unsuitable for society. i try to compress the vehement words of protest in my head into something more honest and in between that i get even more flabbergasted cos all of a sudden i realise i cant remember aunty's name anymore, whether it was laila, or lisy or lily. she asks me if its about the dressing issue, that if its cos i cant wear the kinda clothes i wear outside. n ofcourse thats true! but i cant quite admit it, what if i am giving disproportionate importance to what i get to wear? besides, i tell myself, clothes is only the beginning of it all, an easy identification for the alien mallu, there is still much more. And there is btw. so feeling both justified n sly, i elaborate on the other reasons- narrow, narrow, narrow.
Then we get round to B and how she also found the whole dress drill thing so weird. But there was no way out, her being a doc n having to treat these rural people, n so she just adjusted n now shes just comfy in her adjusted state. which i thought was pretty cool, cos she wasn't saying it in this 'bend, bitch, bend! cos thats the way to be!' way. n that sorta made me wanna try out some of that adjustment stuff myself. In the more reasonable aspects of life.
Thankfully, Fab India was with me on this one n so it popped in front of me the perfect piece, still priced outrageously at 630 monies. My train reached the home station dot on time, which was a first in many many months and i was very glad to have been a part of that unique experience. Anyways, i get home, n start gulping down the carrot halwa ammas made n then immediately try to confirm that the trips happening. But then ammas like, i dunno, r we going? And then am thinking, ofcourse not, what was i thinking? i suck, life sucks , this carrot halwa sucks etc.
But then god works in mysterious ways, which is the pious person's way of saying god really has no clue what hes doing. So come saturday evening, the phone rings urgently, its picked up lackadaisically and requests are made hither for breakfast n lunch visits, no questions asked. Ipppeee!!
So off we go sunday morning, to thank christ for giving us people we get along with. On our way we buy cashew nuts n chocolates n soan papdi n we tell each other that this truly is a great gift combination! We reach the place and uncle n aunty come to greet us, n i inquire about my generation of people, n they tell me they r still in bed. suddenly, i have this huge urge to go straight into their bedroom n curl up beside them n be a kid all over again. but i dont, obviously. i wander around their living room instead which i always found pleasant n homely n shabbily grand. Then B wakes up n shes a year younger to me n already a doctor! and then d younger one comes out half n hour later n am glad to hear that she finds her college in cochin a hell hole. We watch the news on sai baba "leaving his body behind". n slowly, us kids, flock towards the dining room where the mums sit discussing a boy for paro. Talk about Mary's lil lamb trotting joyfully to the slaughterhouse. Thankfully B is also sorta resisting the marriage idea n so it wasnt too uncomfortable. Then aunty asks me, so you dont wanna settle in kerala? and i can feel the judgement. the judgement for having judged my own people unsuitable for society. i try to compress the vehement words of protest in my head into something more honest and in between that i get even more flabbergasted cos all of a sudden i realise i cant remember aunty's name anymore, whether it was laila, or lisy or lily. she asks me if its about the dressing issue, that if its cos i cant wear the kinda clothes i wear outside. n ofcourse thats true! but i cant quite admit it, what if i am giving disproportionate importance to what i get to wear? besides, i tell myself, clothes is only the beginning of it all, an easy identification for the alien mallu, there is still much more. And there is btw. so feeling both justified n sly, i elaborate on the other reasons- narrow, narrow, narrow.
Then we get round to B and how she also found the whole dress drill thing so weird. But there was no way out, her being a doc n having to treat these rural people, n so she just adjusted n now shes just comfy in her adjusted state. which i thought was pretty cool, cos she wasn't saying it in this 'bend, bitch, bend! cos thats the way to be!' way. n that sorta made me wanna try out some of that adjustment stuff myself. In the more reasonable aspects of life.
I could see how aunty, who is a doc herself, was totally proud of B. n i was proud too, cos this girl used to be such a worry wart, but she turned out way more than decent. n then i felt nervous for the younger one, M, who is an engg student n who wants to do an mba next cos she thinks that will give her d right exit from all that she hasn't figured out. But i guess she will be okay too. Maybe not fabulous, but okay.
Then the food was brought to the table. n i went into the kitchen n helped them bring in the dishes, which i somehow could never do before. The old me would have stood around in the dining room itself, alone, sorta uncomfortably grumbling approval everytime someone popped out from the kitchen with a dish. n i must say, this feels much better, its nice to participate in these small silly ways, so no more lonesome dining room lurker.
Lunch was pretty neat. i was planning to stick to appams n solely the non-veg items. but then, both me n mum had babbled on about what a major vegetable-monger i have become. n i wanted to stay true to that image. so i dug out large amounts of bitter gourd n some kinda beans n ate it all up n felt like a total champ.
In between, aunty tells me that she will give me one piece of solid advice, that whatever people plan for never happens, its always d exact opposite that does. n before i get to hmm this negative piece of advice, uncle, fortified with alcohol and male exhuberance, booms out, nothing of that sort! you aim, you aim for real, whatever it may be, you will get it, or else you come to me! n dad seconds that. n am pretty happy.
Then M, mum n I did a round of the backyard n the pond, where there were ducks waddling n ducks waiting to waddle. apparently they have been trained to lay eggs in the duck house, though some still plop them in the water. We said hi to Sophie n Tiger, their german shepherds. Sophie just laid there, looking at us with this pleasant, oh, welcome to my royal abode expression n Tiger barked happily, until i said, hey Tiger! Then he looked totally shocked. n he stood around in some kind of stilled, frightened, paranoia, n that gave me the funnies, so i called out Tiger again.
And before i knew it, it was all over. We all kept saying we need to do a trip together again, like we did many years back. n some people hugged some people. n i wanted to hug too, but i haven't evolved that much, so i patted instead.
Then the food was brought to the table. n i went into the kitchen n helped them bring in the dishes, which i somehow could never do before. The old me would have stood around in the dining room itself, alone, sorta uncomfortably grumbling approval everytime someone popped out from the kitchen with a dish. n i must say, this feels much better, its nice to participate in these small silly ways, so no more lonesome dining room lurker.
Lunch was pretty neat. i was planning to stick to appams n solely the non-veg items. but then, both me n mum had babbled on about what a major vegetable-monger i have become. n i wanted to stay true to that image. so i dug out large amounts of bitter gourd n some kinda beans n ate it all up n felt like a total champ.
In between, aunty tells me that she will give me one piece of solid advice, that whatever people plan for never happens, its always d exact opposite that does. n before i get to hmm this negative piece of advice, uncle, fortified with alcohol and male exhuberance, booms out, nothing of that sort! you aim, you aim for real, whatever it may be, you will get it, or else you come to me! n dad seconds that. n am pretty happy.
Then M, mum n I did a round of the backyard n the pond, where there were ducks waddling n ducks waiting to waddle. apparently they have been trained to lay eggs in the duck house, though some still plop them in the water. We said hi to Sophie n Tiger, their german shepherds. Sophie just laid there, looking at us with this pleasant, oh, welcome to my royal abode expression n Tiger barked happily, until i said, hey Tiger! Then he looked totally shocked. n he stood around in some kind of stilled, frightened, paranoia, n that gave me the funnies, so i called out Tiger again.
And before i knew it, it was all over. We all kept saying we need to do a trip together again, like we did many years back. n some people hugged some people. n i wanted to hug too, but i haven't evolved that much, so i patted instead.
2 comments:
You pat me and I kick you. I need em hugs and I need them proper. Bear hugs.
"God has no clue what he does"
True, very true. :)
Post a Comment